August 14 is one of those days of the year that has several birthdays and associated memories for our family. We didn’t have big parties- or even always make phone calls or send cards… but the connections were there
My mother’s oldest sibling, my Uncle Charles was born on August 14, 1920, almost 4 1/2 years before my mother. He passed away at the young age of 57. I am always shocked when I realize how young he was! Charles Matheson Hodges served in the Army in Germany during World War II. He started school at NCSU but returned to Watauga County and spent the rest of his life there, farming and running an abattoir. That was always an interesting and somewhat disturbing place to visit!
This story leaves the Hodges side of my family tree and moves to the Dixons, where 3 of our 4 birthdays lie. We’ll start with William Jeffrey Carnes, my cousin Jeff. All of the subjects of this memory are now deceased; Jeff passed away most recently, in early 2021. Jeff was the firstborn of all my generation, on both sides of the family. He was born a few months before my parents were married, the eldest of four children born to my Aunt Ruth and Uncle Luke. Aunt Ruth was one of my daddy’s four sisters. Because Jeff left North Carolina and moved to Florida as a young adult, we did not see each other often. I have a fond recollection of his being at our Papaw Dixon’s funeral. He comforted me as I wept (I was 23 but I did so love my Papaw!) and reminded what a wonderful long life he had lived. In the last few years of Jeff’s life, he and I reconnected over Facebook and had several long “chats” and even a couple of person-to-person telephone calls. I treasure that time of sharing and remembering. Jeff always enjoyed having been born our Aunt Betty’s birthday! And that leads me on to the next Birthday Boy, for we cannot celebrate Aunt Betty without first celebrating Uncle William Skinner.
“Uncle William Skinner” – I put that in quotes because that is ALWAYS how Daddy referred to him- was my Papaw Dixon’s uncle, one of his mother’s siblings.For many years we went to Dixon family reunions at Kadesh Church (KUMC) in what was always referred to as “upper Cleveland County.” A search of graves in their cemetery yields a whole slew of Dixons and other names of my relatives. I recall Uncle William being at those big dinner-on-the-grounds affairs; he died when I was eight. In my memories, he was a big man… but when one is a child, most adults seem pretty big!
My sweetest August 14 memory, the one I hold most dear, actually is not quite true. But that doesn’t take away from the memory and why it means so much. As a matter of fact, I only discovered today (August 14, 2025!) the slight error in the story.
In August, 1934, Papaw, grandma, Daddy, Aunt Betty (and probably Aunt Ruth) were headed to Belwood to celebrate Uncle William Skinner’s birthday. Aunt Betty piped up from the backseat and asked, “When’s MY birthday?” This was before children had elaborate – and sometimes multiple- birthday celebrations, so I guess it just never occurred to her or anyone else to have a party!
But bless my sweet Papaw’s heart! He didn’t miss a beat, replying, “Why today’s your birthday, too, Betty! You are four years old!” And for eighty-some years, Betty Jean Dixon Lail and her family celebrated her birthday on August 14. (I have discovered that Uncle William Skinner was actually born on August 12, so I guess the party was held two days later; those details don’t really matter!)
The truth is, Papaw and Grandma didn’t really know when Aunt Betty’s birthday was. She was left by her birth mother either at the courthouse or at my grandparents’ home (my memory is murky here and I will correct as I can) as an infant. My grandparents took that little baby and raised her as their own. Their’s was a welcoming home, and perhaps the birth family knew that. They had helped raise several of Papaw’s younger siblings when their mother died, a few years after their father, when Aunt Pauline was just four years old. They had two older biological daughters the ages of his siblings and later added my Aunt Ruth and Daddy, who were 9 and 6 when Aunt Betty joined the family. that wonderful old house on Grove Street in Shelby housed a lot of Dixons… and a whole lot of love!
Over the years, Aunt Betty married Uncle Arnold and together they had three sons, my cousins Eddie, Joey and Tommy. (Of course they grew up, as we must, and became Ed, Joe and Tom!) When I was a little girl, they lived in a wonderful white farmhouse that had the most beautiful long-stemmed violets growing out in the yard. It’s the first place I would go when we visited. Aunt Betty remembered me and the violets when I last visited her in a different house, not long before her 90th birthday!
A few years before Aunt Betty died, one of her daughters-in-law did some research, with permission. She discovered some long-unknown facts about Aunt Betty’s birth, including the sweet love story that brought her to this earth but times were different then and, while I won’t share the details, suffice it to say that she “came from good people” and I think that brought her some comfort. She certainly grew up in a home and with a family full of love!
But in a twist to THIS story, it seems that perhaps Betty Jean Dixon Lail was actually born on June 4! Doesn’t matter to me! In my heart she will always share a birthday with Uncle Charles, cousin William Jeffrey Carnes, and Uncle William Skinner!
(Footnote: I actually wrote most of this on August 14 but, as tends to happen, I never got around around to finishing it until now. And “now” happens to be the fifth anniversary of Aunt Betty’s death, so that is okay. Rest In Peace, my sweet aunt! I hope someday we will be picking violets together in Heaven!)
bethdlayton 